Naruto's Ninja Handbook
by Tropicalna
Summary: The shinobi have their rules…and Naruto has his. The difference? Well…pretty much everything. Slight Crack! Fic, Drabble-ish
1. Rules 1 to 10

**Naruto's Ninja Handbook**

**The shinobi have their rules…and Naruto has his. The difference? Well…pretty much everything. Slight Crack! Fic, Drabble-ish**

**Disclaimer**

**The Naruto Cast does not belong to me, they belong to Kishimoto Mashashi.**

**Anything that does not belong in Naruto belongs to me, unless said otherwise.**

**Key**

_Rule_ **Shinobi Rules**

Rule **Naruto's Rules**

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #1: Do not draw attention you yourself_

Naruto Rule #1: Wear the most obnoxious, eye-catching clothes. This makes you not only the prime target for attacks, but it also has a high possibility of making you a main character of the series known as 'Naruto'.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #2: Do not be loud; be as quite as possible_

Naruto Rule #2: Always be loud. Always. This helps draw attention to yourself. (See Rule #1)

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #3: Always assess what's going on before jumping in to battle_

Naruto Rule #3: Jump right into the fray without even bothering to check to see what's going on. This guarantees best chance of success.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #4: Blue Eyed Blonds with whisker marks are annoying_

Naruto Rule #4: Blue eyed….Hey….Wait a minute!

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #5: Respect your superiors_

Naruto Rule #5: Call old ladies 'baa-chan' and old, perverted men 'Ero-Sennin' at all times. Turn your nose up and ignore all those you think are idiots.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #6: Do not steal anything that does not belong to you, especially sealed scrolls._

Naruto Rule #6: Steal a sealed scroll so you can learn an S-ranked jutsu, and then later use said jutsu to beat the crap out of your traitorous sensei.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #7: Shinobi are tools to be used_

Naruto Rule #7: Shinobi are their own person, and have the right to choose what they want to do, or don't want to do.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #8: Eat things that could benefit your body and improve your performance._

Naruto Rule #8: Ramen is the healthiest thing on the planet. Always eat ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. An added variant is having a drink of expired milk you're your ramen breakfast.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #9: Do not show your emotions; Shinobi are emotionless_

Naruto Rule #9: Always show emotions; without them, you are an empty shell, an emotionless being that no one enjoys being around. (Like Sai…)

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #10: The mission is always the most important thing; it must be completed at all costs, even if it means sacrificing your comrades._

Naruto Rule #10: The mission is the second most important thing besides your comrades; those who do not complete their missions are trash, but those who do not look out for their comrades are even worse than trash.

* * *

**Hey, if you want to add a rule to this list, let me know in your review! However, it HAS to be able to be contradicted by Naruto. Credit will be given in the disclaimer, as I will be constantly updating this if anyone helps with the rules.**

**Constructive Criticism and Compliments welcome. Flames and Spams will be laughed at.**

**Tropi**


	2. Rules 11 to 20

**The next set of rules is out! Enjoy!**

**Remember, you are free to suggest rules, but make sure they're something Naruto can contradict.**

**Disclaimer**

**The Naruto Cast does not belong to me, they belong to Kishimoto Mashashi.**

**Anything that does not belong in Naruto, belongs to me, unless said otherwise.**

**Shinobi/Naruto Rule #11's idea goes to Sasodei-iz-awesome**

**Shinobi/Naruto Rules #12 and #13 goes to halfdelita.**

**Key**

_Rule _**Shinobi Rule**

Rule **Naruto Rule**

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #11: A shinobi must always be ready to give up everything for the sake of a mission._

Naruto Rule #11: Protect everyone that you can, no matter how vital the mission or situation is.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #12: Shinobi are not allowed to chase Renegades on their own_

Naruto Rule #12: You may chase after renegades only if they happen to be your teammate who has gone looking for power to slay his/her older brother/sister.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #13: Genin/Chuunin can not beat S-ranked criminals._

Naruto Rule #13: S-ranked criminals can not beat Genin/Chuunin.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #14: A shinobi must always be serious_

Naruto Rule #14: Shinobi must appear aloof, but actually always be on guard. It helps to have Sharingan in one eye.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #15: The Kage is not to be disobeyed or disrespected_

Naruto Rule #15: If you don't like something the Kage says so, express this through various complaints.

Reminder: Dodge anything that might be thrown at you.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #16: Always take the mission you are given without complaint._

Naruto Rule #16: If you feel the mission is a worth of time, angrily demand another one and refuse to do the crappy one.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #17: Shinobi are dignified, and use dignifying jutsus._

Naruto Rule #17: If you have to pass gas in your opponents face to win, then do so. When it comes to winning, pull out all stops.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #18: Do not push yourself to learn new techniques, take the time required to learn them._

Naruto Rule #18: Push yourself to the limit and learn new jutsu's like Rasengan in three days, or use a bunch of shadow clones to speed up your training!

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #19: People will never change_

Naruto Rule #19: With an awesome action packed fight and a few choice sentences, you can knock some sense into anyone, including emotionless freaks or those with blood thirsts.

* * *

_Shinobi Rule #20: Be careful who you make friends with, they might be your enemies in disguise_

Naruto Rule #20: Everyone is your friend, unless they're Akatsuki and/or have silver hair with giant glasses, or looks like a snake with hair.

* * *

**And that's it! More ideas for the next set of ideas welcome!**

**Compliments and Constructive Criticism and Compliments welcome. Flames and Spams will be laughed at.**

**Tropi**


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